Anything good on?

Well, I'd say this has to be my least favorite season of The Bachelor of all time. I really felt the sadism of the show. How the women get so emotionally involved, and how manipulative the whole set up is, and how hurtful it is in the end. (Yes, we all know this going into it, but it seemed worse this time, or am I jaded?) And unfortunately for Moana, she got it bad in the last episode. I felt true remorse for her when she said she was emotionally devastated. She really did seem emotionally devastated. And then it went to a commercial. And when it came back Travis said how awful he felt. And then he picked Sarah. (Yawn.) And said he was so happy. (Yawn.)

I have nothing against Sarah from Nashville. She seems very nice and upstanding. Travis too. They're good people. But Sarah was just such an incredibly safe choice. Why go on the show? Doesn't he meet lots of Sarahs all the time? And it seemed wrong for him to act happy with her after what he'd just done. I didn't want to watch them kiss and giggle because I was still feeling bad for Moana. Why should they be making out after he'd just done this hurtful thing?

But I did see it coming. Moana wasn't privy to the scenes with his family, and how they said she "just didn't fit it." And it's true. That family spoke in cliches, and for them that's comfortable. For them the cliches seemed deeper than Moana trying to really put words to her feelings instead of just saying "he's amazing" and "we really had a connection." It's a cultural/socio/religious thing. She was too ethnic. Too exotic. Too hard to identify.

And that's why I couldn't relate to Travis the whole way through. His family would definitely not see me as fitting in! So I guess it isn't surprising that every time I started to get interested in a woman on this show he eliminated her. I didn't pick right one single time. Though I did think he would pick Sarah tonight -- unless we were being totally thrown off by the editing. His last date with Moana didn't have the spark. He just basically ate and left. And he didn't seem too warm towards her, whereas he was snuggling with Sarah after they ate even though she was a lousy tennis player. Someone in a Yahoo chat group I'm in said she looks like Wilma on The Flintsones, and I think that's true!

I wasn't a big fan of Moana in the beginning because she seemed too unstable, but by the last episode I was willing to look past all of her emotionalism because at least she seemed intelligent and aggressive and different and she didn't speak in cliches and when they (Travis's family) wanted her to talk in cliches she refused to. Travis and Sarah can speak in cliches now and have an "amazing connection" together until they put each other to sleep. Okay, I shouldn't have said that. They're comfortable together. Fine. But I hope Moana finds someone who can appreciate her. But I would make on request to ABC. Can they please not allow anyone on the next season to say they have an "amazing connection?" I sure didn't have an amazing connection to this show.

Which probably won't stop me from watching next time. Isn't that terrible?

The Bachelor
Moana
Travis Stork

I have to admit that I felt a bit of (okay, a lot of) smug satisfaction that Stacy Keibler was eliminated before Jerry Rice and so came in third. Obviously she's the better dancer, but the show is also a popularity contest, and I'm betting all the women out there (and let's face it, women must be the vast majority of viewers for this show) just did not want to see her take the trophy. Why? Okay, yes. WE'RE ALL JEALOUS. We want those legs, we want the fake tan, we want the sexy butt (Her last dance was all about her butt -- even the camera angle was from behind most of the time.)

Anyway, Stacy Kiebler was her usual nicey-nice gracious self after being told she was ousted... "We're all winners" and she was crying and congratulating everyone else and it was so touching and now she's famous and probably won't have to be a professional wrestler anymore, so I guess she really is the winner in the scheme of things...

After Stacy was gone and we got to see all the old familiar faces, the only suspense was whether Jerry's popularity would make the show a complete sham, because it would be ridiculous for him to win. Which raises the question... if the audience voted for the obviously inferior dancer, would they override the decision? In other words, is the show fixed? Seems to me the judges must've been told to give Stacy all tens and Drew all nine's for the last dance just to up the anxiety level so we'd stay through the commercials. I mean hey, Drew Lachey JUMPED over Cheryl Burke's HEAD.

I personally want to congratulate all the stars and professionals for getting through the show without having an affair with their partners. (Now that everyone knows about Kristy Swanson and Lloyd Eisler having an affair I can't wait to see them perform for the last time when their final episode airs!)

And, finally, I have to congratulate Drew's wife for not going up on stage and wrestling Cheryl Burke off her husband.

dancing with the stars
Stacy Keibler
/Drew Lachey/

I'm travelling this week and missing all my favorite shows. I feel so cut off! (Isn't this pitiful?) At least I found a place that has wireless internet. The places I'm staying in have had TVs in the room, and almost all the shows are in English with Spanish subtitles. But nothing seems to be current. They did have American Idol on last night, but it was from a couple weeks ago when they were still auditioning. Oh well. I saw some real crocodiles yesterday. I'm off to look at some monkeys today. I guess it's good to see real wildlife instead of on a nature show, right?

Or maybe not so surprising. After Len Goodman insulted Jerry Rice the other night, I was wondering if people would vote for nice guy Rice and Lisa Rinna would be saying good-bye. Even Len seemed to be eating his words and kissing up to Jerry tonight. Lo and behold, Lisa was voted off. Everyone was so sad -- particularly, I thought, emcee Samantha Harris -- you'd think we were watching a drama here. I know everyone's bonding like crazy on the show, but hey it's just a dance contest people!

After her elimination was announced, Lisa Rinna's husband Harry Hamlin looked so worried... but maybe that was because Lisa and her dance partner Louis Van Amstel can't keep their hands and lips off each other, and Lisa said Louis was her soul mate. I certainly think the wives and husbands of the dancers are being good sports here. Drew Lachey's wife, who is plumply pregnant, doesn't seem phazed at all about how her husband's dance partner Cheryl Burke wanted Len to know that they were truly passionate when they danced and Drew recommended that Len take "a little blue pill" to get in touch with his own sex drive.

Stacy Keibler looked humbled when it was down to the last two and we were waiting to see if it would be her or Lisa. I was intrigued. Could America vote her off? Now that would've been a true upset. But no. She'll be back. And it will really be between her and Drew. Does he have a chance? How are the women out there voting? I wonder...

Dancing with the Stars
Lisa Rinna

Dancing with the Stars has become Squabbling of the Judges. They can't seem to stop bickering, and neither of the guy judges will let the lone woman Carrie Ann Inaba get a word in edgewise. Which is pretty annoying to me, since in my opinion she's the only one who still has any sanity left when it comes to Stacy Kiebler. When she criticized Stacy's footwork last night, Bruno Tonioli made a comment of surprise that anyone was looking at her feet. HUH? Is Stacy Keibler supposed to win just because she's a sexy female wrestler-ballerina-ex-cheerleader? Len Goodman and Bruno Tonioli are obviously just completely ga ga over her, and it didn't matter that Stacy seemed uncomfortably stiff and awkward during her dance. And I don't think she's putting as much into it as before, because her forehead vein wasn't sticking out much after she and her partner Tony Dovolani were done.

Len Goodman should not have said that Jerry Rice was the worst dancer left. That just plain wasn't nice. It may backfire if enough people are offended by it and vote for him just to make him feel better. Lisa Rinna should be feeling a little nervous right now.

Dancing with the Stars
Stacy Keibler

Okay, well, here's the link to the online Star magazine piece on Lloyd and Kristy. Star evidently is getting their info from his wife Marcie. I still don't know whether to believe this is for real, but it sure did look like something was going on in their last performance. On the other hand, Kristy is an actress, right?

So someone posted that Kristy Swanson and Lloyd Eisner are having some kind of affair and maybe he's leaving his wife and child... Does anyone know if this is true -- or is it just a naughty rumor?

Lloyd Eisler

Next up on the Girlfriend Cyber Circuit is Julie Kenner, author of twenty books all pubbed in the past six years. This woman must not have time to watch TV, you must be saying, right? Especially since she was also working as a lawyer until 2004. Well, you're wrong. I asked her about her TV watching habits and here's what she had to say:

Are you a TV watcher? Oh, yes!

What's your favorite show ever? Firefly and 24

What TV character (past or present) do you identify with most? Samantha on Bewitched. But, you know, I’m not supposed to tell anyone about my secret powers, so mum’s the word!

(She must have secret powers to write all those books!)

Does your main character watch any TV in the novel? Nope. She’s way too busy running for her life. If she had time, she’d probably watch a lot of the shows on E! And I don’t think that after her ordeal she’d watch 24. Too much like her real life!

Not surprisingly -- considering Julie writes mysteries and studied the law -- she likes crime show type stuff. On her website she also admits to watching Rescue Me, The Shield and CSI.

Julie writes a range of stories from sexy and quirky romances to chick lit suspense to paranormal mommy lit. Carpe Demon: Adventures of a Demon-Hunting Soccer Mom, was selected as a Booksense Summer Paperback Pick for 2005 and is in development as a feature film with Warner Brothers and 1492 Pictures. Julie lives in Central Texas with her husband, daughter, several cats, and two birds.

(She has time to feed cats and birds on top of everything else? Definitely has super powers...)

Julie has the greatest book titles... THE GIVENCHY CODE came out last year, out now is THE MANOLO MATRIX and next year comes THE PRADA PARADOX. Visit her on the web at http://www.juliekenner.com to check out all her other books too!

chicklit

On the heels of sending George Hamilton home on Dancing With the Stars, they sent the sentimental father-figure Bruce Jenner home on Skating With Celebrities. It had to happen of course. It was so obvious that his skating doesn’t come close to Jillian Barberie and John Zimmerman. Scott Hamilton and Summer Saunders did their best to hype the end as if there was any real question who would win. Okay, that’s their job. But this “skate-off” was irrelevant -- just a way to take up the rest of the hour, I guess. Was that the only thing they could think of?

Anyway, the high point of the show was watching Kristy Swanson and Lloyd Eisler skate. It came right after a cute video of them practicing together, giggling a lot, and Kristy saying he was like an older brother to her. Then they did this really hot, sexy skate together on the show. Kristy looked happier and better than ever (has she lost weight?) and they “really had a connection,” which has to be the cliché of the decade. I think they should get married or have an affair or something.

Who will win between Kristy and Jillian? Could go either way… Does it really matter? Not really. Both teams are really good. For some reason the last show isn’t until two weeks from now. I hope I catch it. But if I miss it, that’s okay too. I have the feeling this show isn’t coming back, huh? The thing is… we all thought it was going to be packed with people falling and hurting themselves and humiliating themselves. The skill level, dare I say it, was too high.

There was a nice moment near the end, though. Tai was crying. She has the most interesting smile. Is it the teeth? Anyway, she said that she loved, when they're skating together, to look up and see Bruce. That was sweet.

skating with celebrities
Lloyd Eisler
Kristy Swanson
Tai Babilonia
Bruce Jenner

So Michelle Kwan has given up her spot in the Olympics. When I heard last night that she was not in good shape, I really felt like she should resign. But this morning, when I saw AOL's announcement that she did indeed give up, I felt so bad for her! But at least she has a bright future ahead of her as a judge and/or contestent on future seasons of Skating with Celebrities.

Was that mean?

michelle kwan
Skating with Celebrities

It was truly a sad end to tonight's show when George Hamilton was voted off. He is the sweet kind charming funny daddy figure, and I guess his chicken dance during the Viennese Waltz last night wasn't enough to save him for another week. At least he sounded just a little bit relieved that he didn't have to learn two more dances for next week. I called it wrong -- I thought Jerry Rice would be voted off. But I've been choosing all the wrong bachelorettes for Travis Stork too, so what do I know? It seemed like maybe it would be Lisa Rinna voted off -- she was in the bottom two with George, and how many Lisa Rinna fans are out there? And will she please just TELL us exactly what it going on with her lips? But I guess she deserved to stay, in that obviously her dance skills are much better than George's or Jerry's.

And yes, it was slightly annoying and not really that funny when George proposed to Stacy Keibler over and over again, especially at the expense of ignoring his own adorable and gorgeous partner Edyta Sliwinska . She was such a good partner for him, made him look good, laughed at his jokes. How dare he flirt with Stacy!

Anyway, Jerry has his work cut out for him. And dare I say he will be voted out next. Or maybe it's Lisa who should be worried now...

Dancing with the stars

I think Jerry Rice should get ready to go home. He seems like such a nice guy... but I think his main competition is George Hamilton, and after the chicken dance during the waltz, I don't see America voting George out. Lisa Rinna looked pretty in her lilac dress, but I don't know why they had her dancing to 9 to 5, it totally got in the way. Stacy Keibler was fantastic as usual and her splits were amazing, but she is so on my nerves. I can't stand her "I am incredibly sexy" and "I am incredibly good, nice. modest and doing it for the boys in Iraq" act. Drew Lachey finally got his three 10s, but how can he compete with Stacy?

I still miss Tatum O'Neal.

Dancing with the stars

Moana’s dad was annoying. It was the first time I saw Travis struggling to please someone else, and her father just let him stew. It was actually kind of funny to see Travis in the hot seat for a change. The weird thing to me was: why didn’t Moana’s mother or step-mother say one word during the entire segment? The dad was so rude and hostile and no one stepped in to make nice. Was that the editing? Or do they let the dad speak for them all the time? Kind of weird.


Also frustrating. I had no more sense of what goes on between Moana and Travis after seeing them together. They kissed after he left the house, but it was hard to read. I’m not getting any sense of “connection” (as they say) between the two of them. So how has she gotten this far?

Sarah B. from Winnipeg and Travis seemed happy and giggly together while they were feeding the birds at that ugly river. (I wish they would’ve shown us more of Winnipeg!) And then they went to the bar and there was all that tension over Moana.

Then he went to her house. Sarah’s two brothers were so cute, how they sat there smiling. Travis got freaked out that Sarah still lived with her mom. I guess he’s worried that she’s too young and that made her seem younger.

When they were alone together on her bed, I felt like they really needed to be alone together to talk. I wished there wasn’t a camera on them. But there’s so much more between them than there is with him and Moana. (unless it’s the editing…)

Travis has some questions about Sarah from Nashville. He thinks she’d make a great mom, and would be fun to hike with… but it that all? Meaning… he’s not sure if he wants to have sex with her. Other problem: will she move away from her family in Nashville to be with him in the mountains. Where he would like to hike with her. But might not want to have sex with her.

I think Travis is bored with Sarah from Nashville. She’s totally appropriate and totally blah. He didn’t need to go on the show to get her.

Or maybe I’m just bored with her. She seems nice and everything but she never says anything interesting. But maybe I’m just not catching all the Southern clues that would tell me they’re bonding. I did like the video of her singing when she was a teenager. That made her seem spunkier than she seems otherwise. And "the kindergarten teacher" would make a good mom…

I admit, I missed most of what Susan was saying during their picnic cuz I was (sort of) paying attention to my family. She seemed to be saying something convoluted about glasses being half empty and full… I just see her as an opportunist actress who is rebounding from a broken engagement. And she’ll never go hiking with Travis in the mountains… though he probably would like to have sex with her. That’s the eternal problem of all men, isn’t it? How to find the woman who you can hike with AND have sex with. It was a good moment when Susan’s mother said she might just be… (dramatic pause)… acting.

Back in Paris, after the videos, I felt as confused as Travis seemed to. Should he marry the good mother kindergarten teacher? The cute student who likes to camp out? The sexy actress who would make a great trophy wife? Why was Moana so emotional when it seems like they never really connected? How did he complete her? (They MUST be editing stuff out.) It’s tough.

The real question is… not who does he want to marry… but who would he want to go on an amazing overnight date with.

So who did he get rid of?

My favorite! Sarah from Winnipeg. Okay, maybe she was too young. But she grew on me. I can’t say I’m very excited by any of the ones who are left. But maybe we’ll finally see what’s so great about Moana. Or will they keep editing that out?

Who am I going to root for now?

The Bachelor


Travis Stork

What a night! Skating with Celebrities on from 8 to 9. The Bachelor on from 9 to 11. How am I supposed to have a life?

The first two couples tonight were hard to beat. Jillian Barberie’s washboard abs were impressive with her little bra/bathing suit top. And finally Kristy Swanson and Lloyd Eisner were truly appreciated by that icky judge John Nicks. Plus I finally noticed something. Lloyd Eisner and Jillian’s partner John Zimmerman are REALLY HOT. Hot in a way that male skaters usually are not hot, if you know what I mean. Gee. How had I not noticed? Okay, actually I had noticed about Lloyd, but the other guy had somehow not been on my radar, and I realized tonight that he's cute too!

Now, it was ridiculous that Bruce Jenner and Tai Babalonia came in first last week. I think that was more about sentiment for the two 70s stars than skill. But Bruce has gotten so good considering he just started skating 7 weeks ago and he’s the old guy there. He’s doing jumps, “edge work” as they say, lifting Tai, spinning. I guess the guy really is an athlete, huh? Though, as that judge said, he is so stiff. Though, as Bruce said, bad knees, kidney surgery and 2 Olympics…

It was no surprise that Dave Coulier got booted. Bruce outskated him! Nancy Kerrigan seemed truly sad to have to go. But none of this was as good as the time she skated with Chris Farley on Saturday Night Live. Now that was a classic.

Skating with Celebrities

It wasn't very exciting tonight. I don't know if it's because of the dances being sort of dull or what, but it was hard to get emotionally involved. I think we saw Tia for the last time. I was impressed to hear that Lisa Rinna is 42 and keeping up with all those twenty-year-olds. So for a minute or so I wanted her to win. She really does seem to want it more than anyone. But I wish she would relax a little. And it was cute watching Jerry Rice dance with his daughter. But I dunno... I still miss Tatum.

George Hamilton said something about how he started out tan, but now everyone was tanned. That's become the most notable thing on the show. How they all have fake tans. So I gape at the fake tans... and Stacy Keibler's legs... and that vien on her forehead that pops out. One of the judges said she was as good as the professionals. I wondered if the professionals felt at all insulted by that. Can you get that good in a few weeks? (I ask the same question while watching Skating with Celebrities...) Stacy Keibler has perfected being all sweet and nice and girl next door saying the right things... and then you see her on cover of Stuff magazine looking all soft-porn... she's got it all figured out!

Dancing with the stars

Next up on the Girlfriend's Cyber Circuit is Melissa Senate. I got to meet Melissa when she threw a party for a bunch of chicklitters a few years ago in her highrise apartment on the Upper East Side. Now she lives in Maine! I just checked out her blog, where she says she loves living up there. (Don't tell my husband, who would love to abduct me to some place with nature and trees.) But... most shocking... she used to smoke two packs of cigarettes a day! I'm so disallusioned :)

Melissa's debut novel See Jane Date launched the Red Dress Ink imprint in 2001, has been translated into over ten languages, is an answer to a question in the 20th Anniversary Edition of Trivial Pursuit, and was made into a television movie for ABC Family. Her debut novel for teens Theodora Twist (such a cute name) will be published by Delacorte Press in May. And her fourth novel The Breakup Club about four singles in Manhattan, has just come out now.

But the real issue here is... does Melissa watch TV? The answer is yes! She might be walking in the woods up there in Maine or chopping wood or something... or she might be watching "The 200 Pound Tumor" on Discovery...

Are you a TV watcher?

I am such a TV watcher that I even watch shows like: "I Am My Own Twin" and "The 200 Pound Tumor" on Discovery Health. From "House, MD," currently my favorite show, to too many "Law & Order" reruns (love SVU too) to "Super Nanny" to every award show, to Noggin, which I put on every morning from 6-7 am for my three-year-old, TV can be a great souce of info and entertainment and it lets you unwind while eating popcorn. I'm especially grateful for the Noggin channel because it's educational, fun TV for preschoolers and there are no commercials.

What's your favorite TV show ever?

There aren't even reruns anymore, except sometimes on Nick at Nite, but: "Rhoda," which starred Valerie Harper. (One of my total favorites.) It was a spin-off show (for all you youngins) of the Mary Tyler Moore show. I loved Rhoda, her family, her job as a window designer, the issues of class, that New York accent, her "role" as the "perfect" Mary Richards' best friend, the great Julie Kavner (voice of Marge Simpson!) for a sister and the hilarious Cloris Leachman for a nemesis.

What TV character (past or present) do you identify with most?

For a long time I identified with Ally McBeal (in those first few amazing seasons, before the show went nuts). But now that I'm married and have a young kid, I tend to identify with any family show that nails family relations.

Does your main character watch any TV in the novel?

Hmmm. The Breakup Club has four main characters, and now that I think about it, NONE of them watches television in the book. The only one who does is Lucy's jerk of a husband, who's more interested in watching a segment of "Stupid Pet Tricks" on The Late Show with David Letterman than in the seduction she's trying to pull off. "Stupid Pet Tricks" wins, unfortunately. Or fortunately, since Lucy finally accepts that her marriage is ovah!

Check out Melissa's website for more info.

chicklit